Doraleous: No, Doraleous. Farmer: [with more difficulty] Domaleous. Doraleous: Okay. Farmer: Dor Doraleous: Doraleous. Farmer: Domaleous!
You might want to practise remembering that name. He is, as expected, voiced acted with a Christopher Walken impersonation. When at first I heard this, I thought they were trying too hard to be funny. There is literally no other way to say it. I would replace every actor in every fucking movie with Christopher Walken. If the world ended I would want it to be me, Christopher Walken, and a scientist who could figure out how to infuse our genes together to repopulate the human race which is totally not gay.
All that said: a Christopher Walken impersonation seems about as in place as… well Christopher Walken…. Christopher Walken on a lovely stroll. All of the characters face the screen… in every shot. Making the movement look as realistic as a 2D scroller, and making all battle scenes as action packed as anything you could play on Newgrounds. The show starts out with the newly formed associates standing outside of the new headquarters of Doraleous and Associates; the Mercenary Company in which the show gets its name sake.
This is literally the least exciting pilot I have ever seen. It starts out with the commemoration party for the opening of the new business… which is held outside because stop asking questions. The show then becomes a bitch fest, which comes off as more annoying than it is funny.
Every sentence is stretched out because everybody, obviously because they get paid by the number of words they say, has to comment on what another person said. Somebody finally mentions something useful about a magical blade, the bitch fest slowly comes to a low roar, and they pull up their map to quick travel to the Lady of the Lake.
Yeah… totally not overused…. Well, this lady of the lake does have an interesting twist. She seems to have gotten bored with her omnipotence, and has decided to fuck with the beings inhabiting the world of Nudonia Seriously , as well as the beings that inhabit the e scapist website. The scene with the lady is actually kind of funny, but like the rest of the show, drags on to the point in which it just becomes grating.
You know… something like this. So, finally they decide to leave and end of the first episode. The second episode revolves around the first meeting in the war room, which lead me to believe that this show was comprised completely of all of the scenes in all of the fantasy TV shows, which were too dull to actually be in them. The first meeting revolves completely around the fact that they have done pretty dick so far.
A dead cat, that Mirdon is trying bring back to life, is featured throughout the episode. To this episodes credit, this did make me smile. In the end Sir Walken appears, bringing along the first adventure, after dicking around for two episodes I guess. So they adventure off into the next episode, in which they confront a Rumpelstiltskin puzzle conducted by a troll with a bridge. They of course go on to solve the puzzle… by quibbling amongst themselves, because all the problems in life are solved by bitching.
It was at this point that I made a startling realization, which is going to reveal exactly how big of a nerd I am: This plays like a session of Dungeons and Dragons. But for those of you who have Dungeon Crawled, notice Draks annoying whiny voice, and weak social demeanor? Played Largimus in "Magic Lake" in Played Matt Thompson in "Mistreated" in Played Sir Walken in "Doraleous and Associates" in Played Bra in "Battlefield Friends" in Played Radio Guy in "Battlefield Friends" in Played Sniper in "Battlefield Friends" in Played Terry in "Under the Dome" in The original series was canceled in April whereas the recent series was canceled in at the end of the season.
Played Confederate Soldier in "Viva la Bam" in Played Monster in "Super Sam" in Played Jedi Jed in "Return of the Rednecks" in Played Doug in "Warped Galaxy" in Played Wilson in "Stranger Things" in Played Pirate in "Privateer" in Played Fendrel in "Magic Lake" in Played Waylen in "The Jailhouse" in Played Miles in "Nar-co-lap-sy" in Played Adam Bolen in "Half Empty" in Played Dan in "Cry of the Banshee" in Played Doodle Mac in "Port City" in Played Taylor in "Hollywood East" in Played Lance Steel in "Lance Steel" in Played Doraleous in "Doraleous and Associates" in Played Coach Bostick in "Parental Guidance" in Avg Score.
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